Versailles Bike Trip Dry Run otherwise known as I should stop almost getting in trouble by French authorities

I can't write full sentences. And I just explained it in full to my sister via gchat. Hello Internet 2.0 and copy paste.

10:11 PM me: i went to versailles today on my bike
Jennifer: isn't that a hike?
me: it's 15km' so it took like an hour and a half
Jennifer: oh that's not bad
me: since i stopped a couple of times
Jennifer: i took the train when i went. it felt farther
me: and had to walk my bike up two hills
10:12 PM Jennifer: did you go just for the ride or to see versailles?
me: and then walk it back down the other side since literally i would probably have been going 40 miles per hour if i didn't get off
Jennifer: haha brakes girl
me: i went to versailles a month ago with my friends (i concur, the train ride seemed way too long for how close it is) i would have died even with breaks my bike isn't that good
Jennifer: ah
me: i swear i probably blew out the tires today going over all that fucking cobblestone
10:13 PM bane of my existance but i biked around the gardens because it's free and then you have to be an EU citizen and under 26 to get into stuff free and so i flashed my student id card from sciences po and said i was from angleterre (england) and done. that got me into the petit trianon it wouldn't have worked in the actual palace however
10:14 PM oh! and i almost got in troulbe twice! it was awesome once for climbing and sitting on a high rock (stupid) and the other for attempting to steal vegetables (long story short)
10:15 PM Jennifer: lol you were trying to steal vegetables? and i'm the hippie kid? :P
me: :DDDDDD i made beet salad with my new beets :DD
Jennifer: you stole beets? OY VEY
10:16 PM you're ridic "hay i stole beets from versailles. i am amanda leslie' :P
10:18 PM me: well no so here's the story
10:19 PM first it starts with that they obviously don't harvest the cutesy vegetables that are in marie antoinette's little village aka i see half of it rotting so i steal some leaves of lettuce for my sandwich and some grapes there are just loads of grapes i only take a few
10:20 PM then later on my way out i just wander into this other part which are like mini private gardens that are just haphasardly attended behind this big hedge so i'm like wahh? this is so weird so i go look at the vegetables that are on their last legs to see if i can salvage any of it all the tomatoes, which were probably good 3 weeks ago are gross there is a bunch of squash so i take two
10:21 PM you can tell no one is coming to get them and then i wander over to an apple tree
my favorite type of free food in france is apple trees because they are just randomly planted everywhere as in i got apples from an apple tree at a highway rest stop on sunday
Jennifer: HIPPIE
me: and so i'm trying to get these apples down from this tree and a police guy comes
10:22 PM and i start to run away and (this is in french btw)
Jennifer: you have a lot of run ins with the french :P
me: he's like why are you running away? so i walk up to him because obvi he has a car with him
Jennifer: haha
10:23 PM me: so i can't escape and he's like what are you doing? looks in my bag for apples and i'm confused because he's saying stuff fast in french and walking back and forth to his car
10:24 PM and so i take the squash out of my bag and i don't really know what's going on but he's like no no keep your squash you bought them right? and i'm like yeah? i guess? and then he asks for my id
Jennifer: haha
me: so i give him my student card
Jennifer: you are gettign in so much ridiculous trouble.
me: and he's like oh you don't have an address? and i say no, and he realizes i'm american and then he's like come with me
10:25 PM Jennifer: geez
me: so i follow him and 1. he's weird because there is dog poop on the ground and he asked me if i did it? GROSS.
Jennifer: LOL geeeeeeez
me: 2. i then realize that i'm not in trouble and he leads me into another garden that there is no way out of
Jennifer: ??
me: and so i'm like SHIT. HE'S GOING TO KILL/RAPE ME and then he walks over to some beets
10:26 PM and is like do you want some?
Jennifer: LOL
me: and i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo confused
Jennifer: LOLOLOLOL
me: and he says oh, those apples are my friend's so you can't have those but if you want some of my beets please have them and i'm like oook if you want me to have them?
Jennifer: LOLLLLL
me: so he graps two big beets
Jennifer: too fucking funny jesus christ
me: and gives them to me and then i bike away into the sunset RIDICULOUS
10:27 PM Jennifer: You need to be careful! :P
me: i know it was stupid
Jennifer: This is yr second run in with the policeee me: but it's weird because i guess he was coming to tend his garden
Jennifer: but he was a cop?
me: i guess all the police guys who work at chateaux de versailles gets their own garden plot
Jennifer: ah
me: he was a security at the chateaux
10:28 PM but yes, it was weird that he was coming to his own garden because if he just hadn't come, no one would have found me it looked like those gardens were post war i was sure no one has touched them since the summer
Jennifer: lol post war?
me: yes like a bomb blew up and pooped out some vegetables
Jennifer: lol oy veyyyi <3<3<3