White Girl Can't Bake

So it came to my attention when I went to one of the biggest grocery chains in France yesterday to buy ingredients to make my illustrious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that apparently people in France don't bake. Like at all. Sometimes possibly bread (especially because you only need yeast, flour, and water for that) but that's about it.

So here is my, if you're ever in France and you want to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies recipe (here is the original for reference or if you're just in the US):

1 stick+ 6tbsp butter = a little less than 250 grams of butter, estimation probably was the best thing I learned in math class

3/4 cup brown sugar = is that a joke? they don't have brown sugar in France. Maybe if I was less lazy I could have figured out the conversion with molasses, but f that. sugar is sugar.

1/2 sugar = the one thing they do have, almost everywhere, as they put it in, almost everything. - so put the two sugars together - 1 1/4 cup - and just use a handy tea cup that looks like it's volume is close to a measuring cup you'd use at home.

2 eggs = chickens are so interval oriented. gotta love 'em for that.

1 tsp vanilla = they don't have real vanilla in France. You're going to have to settle. and just splash it in. god knows if they even use measuring spoons in France. Maybe you should just bring them with you.

1 1/2 cup flour = flour is simple and cheap. thank god. so take your fake measuring cup and measure out a cup and a half.

1 tsp baking soda = I actually went to Grand Epecerie which is a famous food store here (very equivalent to a Balducci's). They have a Etats-Unis/Canada section which had Arm and Hammer baking soda and a whole slew of other funny American things including: marshmallows, fluff, maple syrup, peanut butter, beef jerky, salad dressing, rando candies, buttered popcorn in bags, pumpkin puree (which I snagged for pumpkin cookies), and other things I can't recall at this time. So just grab a small spoon and throw some of this in too.

1 tsp ground cinnamon = I couldn't locate it in the two stores I looked for it, it probably was around, but I was banking on my fake host mom to have some and thank god she did. But it expired in 2007. Whatever. Fake cinnamon is fake cinnamon. Throw some of that in too.

salt = salt

3 cups of oats = oats aren't allowed in France, just like immigrants and poorly made cheese. I couldn't find it in either of the two stores so I settled and bought this muesli granola stuff that was very obviously not cooked yet and was marked at 4 Euros and was dried bits of figs, apples, and uncooked oats. Cool France, for making everything unnecessarily expensive.

1 cup chocolate chips = those don't really exist in France either. Occasionally they pop up. I bought a bar of chocolate and cut it up instead. IT WAS FAIR TRADE CHOCOLATE. That is one thing France is good for, Fair Trade products. The sugar was FT as well.

Mix it up. Figure out how to work a French oven, set it for 175 degrees Celsius and cook for 8-10 minutes.

Granted I could have gone to the specialty baking store that I found today looking online for baking soda, but should I have to do that? No I say! But I guess the French can't miss what they don't have. So I probably should just keep my cookies to myself. ;P